meccaraw

I hope everyone likes the look of my new profile. I'm obviously going through some shit so if anyone is interested in having a drama free time... let me know. If you're interested in having a dramatic time, also let me know. I would like to create some performance art in order to release some of my anguish. I also have a project coming up that will be really fun if anyone want to get in on it. It's about global social and political issues, side-by-side with American ignorance. So watch out all you fat McDonald's eating, Wal-Mart shopping mother-fuckers. I'm going to find you, exploit you, and ultimately humiliate you to know end. Then.... I'm going to get a Bachelor's degree for doing it. So eat that with your chili fries and corn-dog.

Face the music.
Get up and prove it.
I like to move it move it.

Wanna take a chance,
and stir up some crazy artists
To make a difference in this desert wasteland?

Want to eat my tears
with your Starbucks double-latte
and your chocolate biscotti?

How come everything that is counter-culture now
Will eventually become pope culture
And the source of disdain for all those who consider themselves counter-culture?

Am I losing my mind here or is this how the world works?

Take a moment and feel.
Take a moment and heal.
Kill what you can, keep what you have.
Eat twat and live to share about it.
Make sure you can support yourself.
Make sure you can support your offspring.
Make sure you know who's claiming responsibility for your offspring.

Cry all day, cry on the toilet, cry on the phone.
Cry in your food. I'll send you five dollars for the cod.
What was your mommy's address again?
Flirt with suicide. Dream of death.
Feel his little feet inside.
Cry all night.
Empty your breast of it's milk.
Feed him through a plastic tube.
Eat your own skin to keep you sane.
Cry out my name. You don't love me anyway.
Think your georgeous, act that way.
Buy a house, think it's great. Shoot yourself.
Don't have no gun. Then wipe some ketchup on the wall, and pretend.
Take a bath, but not too hot.
Slit your wrists... oh sorry you already did... I forgot.
Get a noose. Tie it tight.
Jump off your bed tonight.
Pull out your hair, and bang yourself with a paring knife.
Shock therapy I hear is quite nice.
Take me to the loony bin. Tie me up.
Fuck me and don't stop.
Read all of this nightmare.
Keep reading it all.
I need drugs. I'm going to fall.
Climb a high building... oops you slipped.
No more playing with these triple D tits.

Give up before you fail. It's safer.
Hold your car insurance policy and wait for hail.
That will pay the rent.
Eat more, poop less.
Get all clogged up, and make a mess.

Don't pay attention to me. It's all hormones anyway.

Another Day Another Dollar.

Everyone says that I'm not thinking about the baby in choosing a name for him. You'd think that would be an obvious thing to think about when choosing a name. Always forced to reconsider what I thought I knew and what I thought I believed in because of what is and is not socially acceptable. They say he'll be provoked to fighting and that he will be teased. They say little Chaos will hate me. I can't think of any alternatives. I'm not sure if I want to. I want to sleep through work today. No one can offer any better suggestions for names. How can these same people criticize?

Fetuses dont mix with caffeine.

Houses are too expensive to buy on your own.

Time and again
Lost my only friend.
Another beginning,
Another end.

Little feet move me,
Can't wait until
I'm really free.
Virtual reality.
Money is so binding.

But I like bondage.

Taking care of little animals
Keeps me whole.
I'm finding a place to live today,
Or so I'm told.

Casual interaction,
Mind-blowing satisfaction,
Lost to a lack of ambition
For enjoying life instead of wishin'.

I listen to the local techno station almost all the time, dreaming about when I can go out again and not feel guitly or imagine my unborn with a little oxygen mask on.

Please Help!!!!

Eat my brains or something Jeebus!

I want to dance, and sit inside of giant flipping subwoofers, and do acid, and lay on my back and imagine that I am superwoman. I want to suck on a binky instead of thinking about breastfeeding. I miss fuzzy raver pants, and raver candy, and goddamn it, I miss lazers, light shows, and glowsticks. I miss eating candy for 48 hours straight before wondering where I left my bed. I miss sex on ecstasy. BUT, above all, I love my baby to be, and I would just settle for a sober night of dancing in flipping Scottsdale, or even Tempe...... anywhere where I won't have to bring a mini-oxygen mask to shove up my cunt. The thing I'll never miss is smoking cigarrettes, but as soon as I can drink somebody better have a fifth of Tequila with my name on it, and somebody to babysit me, and somebody else to babysit the baby until the morning after. Give it to me Jeebus.

Friends are few and far between,
But what makes one?
Am I supposed to make them,
or do they make themselves?

If I was a man,
I could not impregnate You.
What a fucking shame.

I am not alone,
But I am always lonely.
What is there to do?

Drinking must be cool.
That is why they all do it.
Sober for five months.

I have six china vases.
They have such pretty faces.
I shall not mar.
But tween the sheets st night
And when no one is looking.
I bleed, and lick my own blood.
The only time I fell like I've accomplished anything.

The air here is stale.
No words to pierce the staleness.
No interesting comments to fill the void.
Nobody to talk about this with.
I am not a a critical person.
Carpe Diem!

I must work now.
I am 4.5 months pregnant.
I work 48 hours a week,
And go to night school four out of seven days.
I'm hard core, but I am heart sore.
Trying to find a reason to move.
Nothing comes to mind.

I keep remembering the dream I had where I was a man. It felt so strange to have the alternate genatalia between my legs and I can't get it out of my head. I don't really have a thing for male genatalia in the first place, but if it were mine, then I would get like totally hot over it. Isn't that the weirdest thing ever?

The other thing is that I'm so undecided on a name if I have a little boy, so I'm really trying to concentrate on narrowing that one down.

so I'm in.... I'm in or am I out? I love life. I wish that I could force everyone to love.... life. I am liking what you are. I am liking where we are. Are we near or are we far. Is this hope or just a scar. I am crying in a jar, saving all the tears for you, just so you won't have to shed any. I am wondering your mood. I am striking at your 'tude. I am falling apart, but it's so fun to put myself back together again. I am smiling as I type, even though the day was a wipe. I am thinking of you again. I am falling for you again. I want to be the one again. I want to find fun again. I love you.